Like riding a bike...

I am a strong woman. I have taken more than my fair share of shit and still I try to rise above and stay positive. I am very familiar with the phrase "it could always be worse". In a time of sorrow, it is crucial to stay aware of the blessings in your life. This too shall pass. Life is supposedly 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you deal with it. That leaves me pretty responsible for my own outcome doesn't it. So sulking is over for the most part...I'm sure it will creep up on me at the most inopportune moment again....but in the meantime I take the first step out of the shit pile that so unexpectedly graced me with it's presence. I assume the shit-stain will take a couple washes to completely come out, as they always do. One blessing that I must address as a lifesaver indeed is the friendships I have acquired over the years. I am quite lucky to know such beautiful people. I have said so many times when I get frustrated that I am tired of trying. Trying to get to where I want to be in all aspects. I keep my head up and I push through the shitty times only to find another one waiting impatiently to pounce on me and my sunny day.  With enough hatred to move mountains, I approach each problem with my figurative fists clinched and always walk away to fight another day. I am jaded from all the "self-fights" I have been subjected to. I feel like a damn boxer with a cauliflower ear of life. So, it is time...time for a change. This lazy, loser, stoner is making moves :) Open-minded and driven by repetitive dissapointment, me, bitchcat and dumbdog are moving on up. I am better than this and it's time I prove it.
The weed can come too.

Analogically so, I am a slimy amphibian.

When does a tadpole realize that it is no longer such. Is it instant? Does this transformation even register or does it take trial and error? One day, does the caterpillar pass by a window and say (and I hope in a British accent) "Oh Holy FUCK, I do believe I'm a butterfly." 


Personal growth has always been a front-runner in the steady race of my life values. This year even more so than the already overwhelming recent few. One of my biggest issues that I have carried with me, stems from my insecurity and the accompanying fear of instability. When I push pause on the repetitive worry soundtrack in my mind, I can take a step back from my nagging uptight norm and say "Oh Holy Fuck, I do believe I'm doing great." It has become a second nature for me to continuously strive for the right plan, the "way it should" be. I'm not sure if this characteristic was acquired through some self-preservation attempt or what really, I just know that it was borderline detrimental to my well being. Movies, fairy-tales, love songs, mother fucking Aesop's Fables, and most importantly true stories from a long time ago that are no longer applicable in today's new world, all of these contributed to my idealistic views that have painstakingly been a full-time back seat driver in my attempt to make them my reality. One of the most important things I could ever tell myself, given the chance to teleport back in time, would be: that it is much more fun, enlightening, and effective to take your own path. Now that gem of advice is not applicable to everyone. Some people need definitive structure ie: a pre-determined well groomed pathway for them to mindlessly travel upon. Those people are blissfully ignorant and I can't say that I wouldn't mind walking in their shoes for a day. Unfortunately I am not wired that simply and the mysterious make-up of my restless brain will not allow me such pleasures. In awareness of the fact that I am my own person, and that I must own being  that person, I find comfort. I am this. Regardless of whether that tadpole went on for years wondering why he felt so different than he remembers, the reality is: the day he realized that he was a fucking frog, was brilliant. Jump Jump you fabulous frog! 
Make up for all those jumps you never knew were possible :)

Best Friend Birthday Love. Princess Kara Kirkley de la Round Rock.

 Kara Kirkley: Sing to the tune of this song please. Lyrics by Micki and Hyde.

Big fat beers and Jameson, I do love to have some fun. But not as much as I love you.
Miller Lites & Frito Pie, you're the apple of my eye. Girl I've never met someone like you.
Man OH Man, you're my best friend, though we fight from randomness.
There are a few things that I need. 
Kara-isms, Kara-eyes, Boomer Sooner & my Hyde.
Ain't nothin' beats life with you. 
Oh friends, we're best friiiiiends. I <3 my friend life with YOU!

They told me I could be anything. Well, I finally picked something: Happy.

Sometimes it fits. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you're right.

I went all Stockholm syndrome on the fence that was holding me in. 

I took comfort in the level of happiness I had acquired. I constantly had the self-learned proven fact that it can always get worse. My joy was a visitor with no known departure date, and had found company in my world of contentment. By an unknown grace, I stopped being a fuck-tard in the general life sense. I may not have become everything I had dreamed of as a ambitious child, but one thing I can appreciate everyday is my ability to learn and grow from my adventures down this untraveled path that I have found myself committed to. Although this happiness can be, (and rightfully so) altered by the existence of fickle fate, I must attempt to live my life from this point on without that pesky parasite that is negativity. So many years spent carrying the heavy burden of believing the voice in the back of my mind telling me that I was as tarnished as the harsh events of my life had the right to make me. Within maturity you indeed acquire a sophistication when it comes empathic views of human nature. Hooray for that! Can I getta Amen, actually keep that Amen. Can I getta what what to all of these haters that are Negative Nancy's bringing us all down subconsciously! All you gotta do here is step outside of your annoying little box before ever attempting step 2. Put a little faith in yourself and watch as it grows. Now live your life for all it could be! Don't take that as a push to excel at the typical ideal that has been shoved down your throat. If you want to have 5 cats and watch wedding shows all day, but are able to go to sleep, satisfied in your self-approval rating, (yes I know I have run-on sentences, its how I roll, and frankly I always considered it THE bitchiest rule in grammar.) then knock your socks of with those cats and sweatpants. Here's where this is going: Happiness should not come from a place of settling for "not bad" and will never come if you are leading your life to satisfy everyone else. That's not even real happiness. It's like Diet Coke. Happiness will prevail when you are true to yourself. It sure can be a son of a bitch waiting to get to that point though. P.S. having a dog helps!

I've got bitter bananas on my plate today
I've got bitten bananas all in my way.
It's not fair it seems, It's not fair to me
To have bitter bananas growing on my trees.

Light, Carb, Action.

I can't take you back and forth. Happy warm and gracious day turns to gloom without warning. How dare you trespass on my much appreciated moment of contentment. Tears collect and retreat painfully. You are not welcomed. My heart fills up with hurt and sorrow, gradually dissipating until tomorrow. Until a thought creeps back inside, consumed by guilt, i cannot hide. By my own hand, I'm left here feeling empty. Only temporarily. A new moment comes and my mood has shifted, a smile returns, my spirits lifted. Every day I'm thankful for the blessings bestowed in this world. Every day I tend to forget what makes me smile among the shit. The shit takes over like clockwork. Never failing to bring me down. If only I could run away to the rabbit hole.

She teeters over the edge of her realm, anticipating the fall down.
Stepping down without a second thought.
Take me down.
Take me quick.
The warm embrace of another place.
If I must return at the end of this, I'll meet you again with a backwards kiss.

Venting and Lamenting.

Call me synical, call me old-school...I'm just sayin', I believe our world is due for a wipe-out soon. Why? Oh let me tell you....

1.) Dumb kids. 
Internet, iPhones, and 3D Justin Bieber reign at the top of my list. Have you noticed the disappearance of proper grammer? WTF OMG LOL lyke wut's tha problum wit lernin how 2 rite? I suppose it's fine because everything is typed now and we have auto-correct so even if you have the spelling aptitude of a first grader, all will be ok. Recently, a kid's ability to think for themselves was put to the test when they were asked to do a report on a fucking "endangered tree octopus". When directed to a bogus site with bogus facts on the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus, the 7th graders attempted to learn away. Ug. Really society? Really?


2.) Look to your right, now look to your left....chances are one of the people standing next to you, IS A PUSSY. Yep. A big soft vagina. Instead of giving your little shit a good kick in the ass when he repeatedly tells you NO, you want to go get written consent to medicate that ball of energy into a submissive, boring drone with the personality of a docile caterpillar. Eff that. When did we adapt this mentality that metro-sexual is the norm, little kids shouldn't fight, and puppies should wear designer sweaters so they don't catch cold? Aaaaarrrrrg. First of all, I believe men should spit and know how to clean a fish. Kids should get their ass kicked and in turn learn how to kick ass. Puppies survived without Gucci and Prada before and they shall continue to do so present day. America has surely demonstrated its cataclysmic destiny of turning into one big sinkhole of vaginal sorts. 


Maybe it's the recent blackouts, riots in Egypt, dead fish and birds popping up like herpes on a hooker...or just my common sense tapping the back of my head every time I hear Ke$ha lyrics. The point here is: I'm thinking the powers that be have had it up to the proverbial "here" and if they decided to start over in a world without the McDonald's dollar menu and Charlie Sheen, I would say..."That's cool, I don't blame you." 


And that's my Cynical Sally point of view for the day.